Freedom in Obedience

The longer I'm here, the more humbled I become. I'm humbled by the people who choose to share their stories with me. I'm humbled by the joy I see on children's faces regardless of their circumstances. I'm humbled by women like Rossy who have dedicated their lives to serving kids--who take pleasure in dancing to kids' worship songs and having marker-covered hands from craft time. I'm humbled by fellow staff members who have invited me into their families, fed me countless meals, and made me feel like I'm never alone here.

But more than the people who have surprised and taught me, God has amazed me. He is the one and only true redeemer. He can reconcile relationships where all hope is lost. He can heal the weak, lost, and impoverished. He gives love, purpose, and strength. While I cannot do any of those things, he has blessed me with the opportunity to watch and take part in this work with him. He has shared his presence with me and promises to never take it away and that is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Through it all, he's teaching me obedience--when I don't have the skills or means or understanding or confidence or language ability. He's teaching me to do now what needs to be done, rather than putting it on my to do list for tomorrow; to ask questions and give encouragement and ask forgiveness in the moment rather than staying quiet. He's teaching me to give all that I have to where I'm at and the people I'm with, and he's showing me time and again how he provides.

I was asked to teach a Bible lesson and lead a craft for about 35 kids in Spanish today. Now I'm usually more of a small group co-leader than a big group teacher type so this didn't exactly fit into my personality description, not to mention language barrier apprehensions. So when I was asked, I thought "there are two options: say yes and get nervous because I can't do this or say yes with confidence that this is God's ministry which means that he's going to use it for good." Rationalization led me to obedience in my approach to teaching, not just my actions--something I am very much just beginning to learn.

Will I be the next big children's speaker? Not a chance. Does it matter? No. I did my best to serve God and the kids, and it was a blessing to be a part of it (although I do admit that a nap sounds really good right about now!) While obedience definitely isn't all rainbows and sunshine, I think I've found greater freedom to grow and find joy through obedience than I've ever found following after my own desires. It's kinda like my little cousin once told me "God is the super coolest!" :)