What do you do with Back2Back, exactly?

Lately I've had a few people ask me "What does a normal day look like for you?" The only answer I could come up with was "I work with children". Not exactly satisfying or specific :) I struggle very much with generalizations and estimates. Maybe that's because I strive to value the uniqueness of each person, each day, and each situation or maybe that's because I'm a detail person, not a big picture girl.

For me, every day in Mexico is a new day. It may look similar or different from the previous, but God's presence unites them all. The best way I've come to categorize my work with Back2Back is by looking at each site we work with and then looking at how I'm involved in that site. So, over the next few weeks, I'll try to give a picture of each one.

Rossy's. A ministry lovingly called Mision Educarte, similar to a Christian outreach/community center. Rossy has a room on her property that she has used to host a children's program on Wednesdays and Saturdays for the past 20 years, and I've gotten to join her in teaching and serving these kids for the past few months. She leads a time of worship, a teaching time, a craft time, and then serves the children dinner. It's both dynamic and energetic. Anywhere from 30-70 kids come on any given night, and I have come to love each and every one of them. In the midst of situations saturated with poverty, these kids have hope. They are hungry to learn and to grow and to help others. They love each other, and they love Jesus. When you drive up to Rossy's, kids come running out to greet you--literally jumping into your car to hug you because they just can't wait for you to get out. I've been blessed in so many ways by these kids who have challenged me to tickle wars, shown me how to break-dance, trusted me with the name of the 13 year-old love of their life, and taught me how to give thanks for all things (even stolen tv's) because God's got it all under control. I always leave Rossy's tired and completely full of joy. It's undoubtedly my favorite part of the week. In the next year, we're hoping to expand Rossy's ministry by starting small groups that will be able to go deeper with the most consistent kids. We're also hoping to start an after school tutoring program. Prayer for these two goals would be very much appreciated as we seek God's direction regarding program details and funding sources.

Siblings Jocelyn and Jorgito: Rossy's Regulars

Work Day at Rossy's (Rossy's in the Center)

 

Bigger Perspective

Lately there have been quite a few changes in the way the Mexican government operates, especially concerning taxes. Because of this, Back2Back has had to change and re-think some of the ways that they do things. It’s been very hard, stressful, and overwhelming at times—feeling like these changes are thwarting our work here. Lately I’ve realized that I’ve had a very small view of all of these changes. Yes, they are making day-to-day activities very hard. Yes, they are limiting some of the ways Back2Back can work at this time. Yes, the details are complicated and many. Yes, it is all quite scary.

But this is only a shadow of something much bigger. If I choose to focus on this small piece of the story I will see only darkness, but if I open myself up to seeing the larger picture I think I’ll find light, hope, and glory. While these changes will cause pain and difficulty for many over the next few months, they are a step towards a more stable and efficient economy and Mexican nation. These pesky tax changes are a piece in God’s overall plan to bring restoration to the Mexican people by ridding the country of corruption and supporting a legalized economy. What I may quickly label as hurting the people I desire to serve may actually be a road to increased sustainability and a higher level of quality of living.

I pray that I would trust evermore in the wisdom and ability of God, who promises to never forsake his children but always work for their well-being and for the fulfillment of his good, beautiful, and glorious will. May he teach me to see past my shallow view of the current circumstances so that I might better know him through greater understanding of his plan, which is so much more than anything I can ask or imagine.

Kids at the Tres Reyes Community Center

Kids Served at a Free Medical Clinic in Bonfil

Daydreams

Lately I've been realizing how much of a daydreamer I truly am. If I don't have time to let my mind wander and wonder, I (ironically) lose my focus, patience, and ability to delight in the simple. Somehow it is through these scattered, unstructured meaderings of my mind that I can best reflect and process the world around me. Maybe it's the inherent rest that comes from daydreaming, maybe it's my introverted self needing some time alone, or maybe it's the little girl in me who can't stop her imagination from running wild and doesn't want to.

These past few weeks have been filled with so many experiences and conversations and realizations that I desparately want to share with you but like so much of life, they are only pieces of a complete story that I do not yet understand: small clips of a movie, chapters of a book, thoughts from daydreams flowing in a steam-of-consciousness way that leaves almost everything open-ended.

So here are some of the daydreamlike moments I've had lately that have been important to me. I hope they will be meaningful to you, too :)

*I've gotten to hear quite a few people's stories in the last few weeks. One of my favorite parts about talking with people about their lives is that moment when they are taken back to a past meaningful experience--when their eyes get a little cloudy and their face gets a little more expressive and you can tell that they're not fully present with you. In that moment, I feel like they're taking me with them back to the moment when the memory took place, like I am there with them feeling those same feelings, finding importance in those same seemingly random deatils, and I can't help but smile a little bit because I know that I'm getting to be a part of a lovely form of time travel.

*I've also spent quite a bit of time trying to understand others and to help them understand what I have to say, what others have to say, or a different perspective on the same situation. It's hard--both communication and understanding--not just with people but also with God. And yet, it amazes me how God allows me to understand just as much of him as he knows that I can handle in that moment by creatively meeting with me in ways that I can understand. As a 5 year old, he helped me to understand through flannel-graphs and goofy games. As a 10 year old, he helped me to understand by watching college kids serve others and wanting to grow up to be like them by knowing and loving the God they served. As a 15 year old, he helped me to understand by giving me the space to ask questions freely and His Word where I encountered truth and hard experiences so that I might better understand suffering. As a 20 year old, he helped me to understand by giving me a family in Ecuador and the courage to be a leader on my wing. Now, God is helping me to understand by asking me to obediently trust him in the unfinished stories, the not yets, and the daydreams. I can't wait to see how he helps me to know him more next.

Freedom in Obedience

The longer I'm here, the more humbled I become. I'm humbled by the people who choose to share their stories with me. I'm humbled by the joy I see on children's faces regardless of their circumstances. I'm humbled by women like Rossy who have dedicated their lives to serving kids--who take pleasure in dancing to kids' worship songs and having marker-covered hands from craft time. I'm humbled by fellow staff members who have invited me into their families, fed me countless meals, and made me feel like I'm never alone here.

But more than the people who have surprised and taught me, God has amazed me. He is the one and only true redeemer. He can reconcile relationships where all hope is lost. He can heal the weak, lost, and impoverished. He gives love, purpose, and strength. While I cannot do any of those things, he has blessed me with the opportunity to watch and take part in this work with him. He has shared his presence with me and promises to never take it away and that is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Through it all, he's teaching me obedience--when I don't have the skills or means or understanding or confidence or language ability. He's teaching me to do now what needs to be done, rather than putting it on my to do list for tomorrow; to ask questions and give encouragement and ask forgiveness in the moment rather than staying quiet. He's teaching me to give all that I have to where I'm at and the people I'm with, and he's showing me time and again how he provides.

I was asked to teach a Bible lesson and lead a craft for about 35 kids in Spanish today. Now I'm usually more of a small group co-leader than a big group teacher type so this didn't exactly fit into my personality description, not to mention language barrier apprehensions. So when I was asked, I thought "there are two options: say yes and get nervous because I can't do this or say yes with confidence that this is God's ministry which means that he's going to use it for good." Rationalization led me to obedience in my approach to teaching, not just my actions--something I am very much just beginning to learn.

Will I be the next big children's speaker? Not a chance. Does it matter? No. I did my best to serve God and the kids, and it was a blessing to be a part of it (although I do admit that a nap sounds really good right about now!) While obedience definitely isn't all rainbows and sunshine, I think I've found greater freedom to grow and find joy through obedience than I've ever found following after my own desires. It's kinda like my little cousin once told me "God is the super coolest!" :)

My Own Amazing Race

I packed my bags, drove to the airport, said a tearful goodbye to my family at the gate (which a fellow travelor told me was better than reality tv), and made it to my terminal with time to spare. It was all going according to plan, and I thought I was going to be the last flight out before the brunt of the winter storm came through and shut everything down. Then the delays started. Four hours later, they cancelled the flight, and I found myself sitting in the airport, phoneless, wondering what I was going to do until my rescheduled flight the next morning at 7am.

Thankfully, I had spent the last few hours getting to know some of the people sitting in the terminal around me. I was delighted to hear their stories and found us being fast (although temporary) friends. One of my new friends was named Steven. He is a Navy Seal in Norfolk and was kind enough to let me use his phone many times. After our flights had been rescheduled, we made our way to baggage claim together, had dinner at McDonalds (the only place still open), and began to work through what we were going to do about our stranded situation. After finding out that our flights had been postponed yet another day, I was determined to find a way to spend the next 40 hours somewhere besides the Indianapolis Airport.

I tried contacting shuttles, taxis, hotels, friends--everything was shut down, and the roads were horrible. I was about to give up when I remembered some Lighthouse teams were on their way down to stay at a hotel near the airport that night before their flight the next morning. In a last ditch effort, I called my sister who was able to connect me with the driver of the bus. In less than an hour my new friend Steven and I were on the road making our way back home. We dropped him off in Anderson, and I made it back to Upland after a 4 hour long bus trip that would normally have taken about an hour and a half.

I am SO thankful that this all worked out! Even through the snow when there seems to be so few options, God is there, and he provides :) While I wish I could already be in Mexico working with Back2Back Ministries, I know that I'll arrive in God's timing and am thankful that everyone who was going to be on that flight yesterday is safe. It's all a part of the adventure :)

The Journey Begins...

In less than one week, I will be in Mexico. It seems hard to believe that in a few short days I'll be living thousands of miles away from family and friends who I won't see face to face for months. As I try to wrap my mind around this idea, I'm also reminded of the ever-present question that's been running through my mind for the past few weeks: what does it mean to prepare for a year in Mexico?

Physically, I suppose it means getting immunizations, clothes, a visa, and other necessities. But what does it mean emotionally? socially? spiritually? Lately, I've felt a bit like a swinging pendulum--vascillating between intentionally journaling and talking with others about future expectations, fears, hopes, and prayers and focusing on being present where I'm at and who I'm with because I have no idea how to prepare for such a trip so maybe it's best to let what happens happen and to work through things as they come up. In reality, I think it would be best to find some sort of compromise between these to polarities but must admit that, try as I might, I'm not sure if I've been able to achieve this.

I'm so very excited to begin work with Back2Back. I can't help but smile at the thought of meeting the kids I'll be serving, getting to be a part of Back2Back's staff team, and meeting God in new ways through this adventure. I'm confident that I will be delighted often, grow immensely, and have an incredible experience. While newness and change always come with anxiety, it's comforting to know that I'm not alone. I'm surrounded by caring staff, praying and supportive friends and family in the States, and protected by God himself. I don't doubt that hard moments and days will come, but I know that these will not be in vain. They will be used for a beautiful purpose that I may not understand but can be confident exists.

So here we go! Off to an unknown journey that promises to be all sorts of an adventure! :)

Blessed & Thankful

This past year has been filled with parties and celebrations. new opportunities and goodbyes. changes and constants. old friends and new ones.

It’s been a lot of a lot of things, and I’m so very thankful for all that it has been. I’m thankful for God’s presence through it all—for him holding my hand and giving me opportunities to grow and helping me when I’ve needed it. I’m thankful for the last year I was able to spend with good friends at Taylor. I’m thankful for all of the time and effort professors poured into me and the skills and knowledge they provided me with. I’m thankful for one professor in particular who knew me well enough to encourage me to look into an opportunity with Back2Back Ministries. I’m thankful for Back2Back staff who have supported me. And I’m thankful for all of you! For friends and family who have invested in me and asked me about how I’m doing and decided to partner with me as I begin serving orphans in Quintana Roo with Back2Back staff in January—for everyone who has prayed for me, talked with me, and helped me reach 96% funding for this adventure.

I hope that the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons lead you to reflect on your blessings and that these thoughts give you encouragement and joy. Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving!