King Daniel

It seems like so few things in life can be reduced to black and white--people are complicated and most situations seem to be a mix of both good and bad. Sometimes it can feel long working with kids and watching them improve and digress, improve and digress... it can be easy to want black and white, right and wrong, clearly defined situations even though you know that such polarizations wouldn't really encompass the whole truth.

In the midst of such a fluid process of change and growth, every once and a while I'm surprised by a black-and-white, visible, undeniable moment that allows us to witness 100% improvement with a child. And I believe those moments should be shared :)

Daniel with his siblings and I working with a Team

I know a 6 year old boy named Daniel. One of the first times that I met Daniel was at a Bible class where we were handing out suckers as a reward for good behavior. I asked Daniel if he liked suckers, and he looked at me with the "if you don't know the answer to that question you must really be stupid" face that only 6 year olds can get away with and replied "Sarah, look at my teeth. Does it look like I like suckers?" and sassily showed me a mouth full of rotted out, black teeth. It's safe to say Daniel likes sugar :)

Up until this month, Daniel refused to smile for pictures because he was ashamed of his teeth. He was also in danger of never having healthy permanent teeth because of how bad his baby teeth were. Daniel's mom didn't have enough money for the treatment that he needed. Through child sponsorship we were able give Daniel's family a scholarship for 85% of the cost
of the treatment. The day after his first visit to the dentist Daniel's brother came running to the Bible school to tell me I had to see Daniel's teeth--they looked beautiful. As I was talking with his brother, I saw Daniel round the bend coming to the Bible school. I called at him from a block away "King Daniel! Look at you, Mr. Handsome! Come on, show me those beautiful white teeth!" Daniel came running towards me flashing his beautiful white smile all the way. When he got to me he shoved his smile in my face and proudly proclaimed that he already showed his new teeth off to all of his neighbors.

Daniel isn't ashamed to smile anymore and finally feels like the little king I always tell him he is. The dentist said the treatment will save his adult teeth so his smile will go on shining for the rest of his life. God loves Daniel and saw how much help he needed for his teeth long before we did. He brought Daniel and his sponsors together and used that beautiful friendship to restore Daniel's teeth changing them from black to white. Just like God saw Daniel's visible, physical need he also sees into our hearts to know what each of us needs even in situations that are very much grey and complicated. And just like God had a plan for fixing Daniel's teeth, he has a plan to restore each of our hearts to him. And that black and white promise gives me more than enough hope to sit in the grey situations; I hope it does the same for you.

Marisol: God's Princess

Sometimes kids amaze me. Just when you think they're not paying attention or they don't understand what you're trying to teach them, they say or do something that's more profound than what you've been saying all along. And it reminds me that I'm not the true teacher or the true changer of hearts: God is.

Marisol with Three of her Sisters

Rodrigo, who is Special for Being a Good Brother to Marisol

I had one of those moments a few days ago while I was doing some self-esteem activities with a family of 7 kids. We talked about truths that God says about us and lies that people sometimes tell us. Then we read the book You are Special by Max Lucado and finished by making bookmarks decorated with stickers explaining what makes us special. I explained that we are special because God created us, and he loves us. Some of us are special because we're really good at math, others because we're really funny, and others are special for still other reasons. About halfway through I noticed that Marisol was writing a lot on her bookmark. I started to smile as I thought back to the first time I met her--she was quiet, had scared eyes, and responded to most of my questions with an "I don't know" shoulder shrug. She couldn't tell me what she liked to do or what she wanted to be when she grew up, and it seemed like what she wanted most was to go unnoticed. I thought about how much I'd seen her grow in the past year... she always participated in the class now, was eager to volunteer to read, greeted me with a smile and hug every time I came to the house, and would enthusiastically tell others that she wanted to be a teacher when she grew up.

Marisol, God's Beloved Princess

"Sarah, Sarah!" I was drawn out of my daydream by Marisol handing me her bookmark. "Sarah, I finished." she declared with a big smile. I read her bookmark aloud "God says I'm special because I am his princess. God loves me, and that's why I'm a princess and why I'm beautiful." Marisol never would have said that a year ago. And yet, it is so true. Marisol is pretty and kind and good at drawing, but the root of what makes her special is that she is God's and that He loves her. And I am so glad that she knows that and am so amazed by the ways that God is pursuing her and restoring her and making her into who He created her to be. Thanks be to God!

A Night for Japan

“Konichiwa, Yugin! Yugin! Konichiwa! Konichiwa, Yugin!” I giggled while driving as I listened to 8-year-old Jonatan practice the Japanese greeting “Hello, Friend” in a variety of voices ranging from Asian ninja to elderly grandpa to preppy girl.

“Noooo! The other van is going to beat us! Faster, faster, faster!” shouted Fanny. “Sa-rah, Sa-rah, Sa-rah” the kids began chanting in unison. “Sa-rah, Sa-rah, Sa-rah” we were just about to turn into the neighborhood, a good 50 yards in front of the other van full of kids coming to Japan night when….

“NO!!!!!” I exclaimed. The kids grew silent. “A red light!” All of the kids screamed in horror! “Turn green, turn green, turn green” we pleaded as the other van rounded the bend. Suddenly we were neck and neck. The light turned green, and my van coasted through the gate just before the other van. The kids exploded with cheers and laughter—we made it to Japan! To be more accurate, we had made it to the Back2Back group house that was decorated like Japan and where we would spend the night celebrating and learning more about the island nation. But from the kids’ perspective it was just as good as Japan :)

We passed out the passports, paired each child up with an American friend for the evening, and sent them to the basement where we would experience Japan for the night. The twinkle lights and paper lanterns had been hung with care. Kids giggled as they sat on towels on the floor placed around low-lying tables, enjoying cups of green tea. The tutor started off the evening by telling us more about the island country and leading us in an activity worksheet. Then the kids got to learn how to make sushi with their new American friends—the silent room was filled with both determination and concentration as Americans and Mexicans delicately lined up the ingredients and used the bamboo placemat to roll out the most perfect looking sushi rolls. As Brian put it, he didn’t like the sushi roll—he loved it!

For dinner we had fried rice, a new dish for all of the kids. As much as they enjoyed the rice, I think they liked eating with chopsticks even more. Their faces beamed with pride as they conquered a piece of chicken or a pea or a bit of rice by wedging it between the two thin sticks and shoving it into their mouths. We finished off the night by making Japanese paper lanterns and handing out goodie bags with Japanese hot wheels cars and Hello Kitty cookies.

 As I dropped the kids off at their houses that night with voices shouting Sayonara Sarah still echoing in my mind, I was overwhelmed with joy. Through simple things like celebrating Japanese Night, these kids were learning that the world is big and that different cultures do things differently and that people can do really big, cool things through Christ. To me, that night was an example of how God wants to give more to his children. He doesn’t want them to live mediocre, ok, fine lives. He wants to invite them into a life filled with abundance that is so much bigger and greater than we can imagine. While those kids’ parents were sitting at home counting out pesos wondering what they could afford to buy for dinner, God saw them and brought a Bible teacher to live next door who has been serving hot meals twice a week for twenty years. While their illiterate moms were struggling to make their kids do the homework that they couldn’t read, God saw them and brought a tutor to the Bible school last November to help them succeed. And while neighbors are shooting fathers with bullets out of anger, God sees and sends an angel to help his children not to be afraid. So while I don’t know the plans that God has for his children, I am confident that they are far greater than anything I can ask for or imagine, and I am grateful that he has allowed me to be a part of bringing more to his children’s lives albeit in small ways like a pretend field trip to Japan.

Bonfil Teens Go to Youth Group :)

Do you remember what it was like to see the world through the eyes of a child—the excitement of picking out whichever candy bar you wanted from rows upon rows of choices at the gas station; having your eyes opened to the immense pleasure of undiscovered worlds during your first visit to the movie theatre; the joy found in digging for buried treasure in the dirt under park benches?

I love how kids tend to see the world with such purity, simplicity, and wonder. And I love that my job gives me the opportunity to see the world through their eyes so much of the time. I was most recently reminded of this while taking some of the teenagers from the Bonfil community to youth group at my church. It was a whole new world for them: a water dispenser with funny little red plastic cups, swiveling air conditioners, blue Bibles with doves stamped with black ink on the pages, new songs, the expectation to sit and listen quietly—SO much newness, both overwhelming and invigorating for them.

Oscar prays for peace and harmony

None of them go to church, and while some of them have been on special holidays, none of them had ever been to a church like this. And while I struggled to keep them quiet and attentive, painfully aware of the backward glances and whispers from others each time my kids giggled inappropriately or made a snide comment or said they were tired of sitting in the class and wanted to play, I was overcome with love for my kids when the teacher asked what we would ask God for if we could ask for one thing. Other teens asked for Xboxes, a cello, play stations. My boy leaned over to me and whispered “peace and harmony”.

I was, again, overwhelmed by tenderness when the teacher asked us to turn to Joshua 1:9 in our Bibles. I smiled, knowing that this was one of the verses that my kids had memorized. When the teacher began to read the verse, one of my boys pushed past three of the other students, grabbed my arms, and with a look of absolute amazement exclaimed “Sarah! I know this verse! It’s the one we learned together! It really is in the Bible!” I couldn’t hold back my laughter as he tore through the pages looking for Matthew 6:9-13 (the Lord’s Prayer), another passage we had memorized.

So after a night of new experiences and saying goodbye to the teacher who thanked me for bringing “my” kids, who he agreed are “full of life”, we got back into the van and headed home. It was pure excitement the whole way back—“We loved it!” they shouted.

“Won’t you please take us with you on Sunday, too, Sarah—please!” begged one girl.

Three Teens from the Bonfil Community

“I made friends with the boy next to me today, Sarah, his name is Jeffery.” interrupted the boy sitting next to her.

“Who wants to go back again next week?” I asked.

“ME!!!” they all shouted in harmony. And I just smiled, happy to be in a van full of teens who beg to go to church and are delighted by finding verses they know in Bibles and who take little red plastic drinking cups home from churches as souvenirs to show their moms.

Special Stories

I love people, and I love their stories, and I feel beyond blessed every time that someone chooses to share their story with me. By doing so, they're inviting me into their life and into their heart, and I find that to be deeply beautiful. One of my favorite things that I get to do with Back2Back is help the kids we work with to write down their life stories. I love watching their eyes sparkle as they tell me about the happiest thing they remember doing or what they want to be when they grow up. I giggle every time someone tells me they love Justin Bieber, and I'm always struck by how deeply, purely, and simply children understand the world we live in. Kids are truly remarkable.

Want to make a tangible difference in Luis's life?
  Consider sponsoring him 

Most of the time, I try to write their life stories with just them so they don't feel pressured by their siblings or parents and so they can have the space to think. But when I went to little Luis's house to hear his story, his mom wanted to be a part of it, too. I said yes, although somewhat begrudgingly, knowing that Luis wouldn't tell me certain things because his mom was there. But God knew what he had planned for that day. Luis was nervous at first, but after a few questions I saw his face visibly change. He was glowing--soaking up every moment of talking about his life with his mom. I couldn't help but smile as I watched them talk about what Luis was good at, fun things their family has done together, and their story of moving to Cancun. It was obvious that Luis was loving the one-on-one attention he was getting from his mom, and I couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time they'd talked so much about just him.

Luis's Family at the Bonfil Community Christmas Party

In that moment, I was reminded of why I am working with Back2Back Ministries in Mexico. God brought me here to be a part of the work of his heart and to reach his children: to restore families, to redeem broken hearts, and to reach those who are earnestly seeking him. And I think that starts with one person feeling loved and special. Eventually those moments of feeling loved and special add up, and kids begin to understand that what God says is real, and healing takes place, and God is glorified. So as I help kids to write their stories and teach classes and plan events it's beautiful to know that I'm not the one making the change, God is. It's equally as lovely that God has decided to include me in that work so that I get to see with my own eyes so many of those little moments that add up to big change. We serve a very good God.

Little by Little

As many of you know, I recently moved into my own little apartment behind our new group house. Like most spaces that haven’t been lived in for a few months, there were a few cobwebs and stains that needed cleaning before I could move in; there was a particularly large stain on the floor in the bathroom, but I didn’t think much of it because I figured it wasn’t anything a good mopping wouldn’t take care of. Little did I know what I was up against. I tried everything—bathroom cleaner, bleach, CLR, special sponges. So little progress, so much perma-grunge. However, as time went on, I began to notice that every time I would mop the stain would get ever-so-slightly smaller. Some of the toughest cleaners chemists have contrived were working just as effectively as daily mopping.

Adela's Birthday Pool Party

And while it may seem like a strange parallel, it reminded me of the kids I work with everyday. They’ve all lived hard things, and those hard things have left stains on their hearts. And sometimes I wish that I could remove those stains with one motivational speaker at a retreat or a well-planned Bible class or a few sessions with a therapist, but it doesn’t work that way. Their stains are the type that need daily cleansing and attention. While I may not always be able to see it, every load of groceries, delivery of library books, visit with short-term mission groups, and birthday party is slowly but surely cleaning the stain from their hearts. A weekend retreat may have the same power over the stain as chatting over an afternoon ice cream cone—it’s something you just can’t predict.

Breaking Open the Pinata

And last Sunday at a little girl’s birthday party, I got to see a little piece of stain be wiped clean. The birthday girl’s older sister, Paty (11), was in the kitchen. She’d already eaten a hot dog and was halfway through her cheeseburger when she brought me her plate and declared “Sarah, I’m full. I’m not going to eat the rest of my cheeseburger right now”. That may sound like a typical kid response at a birthday party, but Paty’s not a typical girl. When we first started having the girls over they would eat like a college football team, stuffing themselves to the brim, because life had taught them you had to gorge yourself when given the opportunity because you didn’t know when your next meal would be. But on Sunday, Paty didn’t feel like she needed to eat until she felt uncomfortable, which shows that she trusted that there would be food for her to eat when she did get hungry again. She no longer needed to live in fear for her basic needs. She would be taken care of.

Paty :)

And in that moment, I just smiled knowing that a stain we’d been scrubbing for over 4 years now was begin to come clean. Sometimes God calls us to big flashy things, and sometimes he calls us to be faithful in the everyday; we must not forget the power that lies in daily, persistent obedience. And so I’ll continue pursuing commonplace compassion and persist in my mopping marathon until one day the stains on my kids’ hearts and my bathroom floor fade.

Amada: Beloved.

Being a teenage girl is hard. There is pressure to do well in school, to care for younger siblings, to get in with the “cool” crowd, to date…and the list goes on and on. Teenage girls are surrounded with lies: you’re not pretty enough, you’re boring, you’ll never amount to anything, you’re unlovable, you need a serious boyfriend to fit in.

During a weekend in August Back2Back Cancun staff was able to combat these lies in the lives of teen volunteers and girls we work with. With the help of psychologist Lorena Cavazos teens were able to delve into hard topics like identity, feelings, boys, and purity. Staff was able to proclaim the truth that you are God’s, you are strong, you have been in God’s thoughts since before you were born, and God has a plan for your joys, hurts, and relationships.

It was beautiful to see timid teens who are normally too scared and self-conscious to speak up running around the house giggling, making new friends, and sharing their hearts with others. And it still touches my heart to see them wearing the bracelets we gave them to remind them they are loved—Amada.

“So, what was your favorite part of the retreat?” I asked on the drive home. “Everything!” my van full of girls chorused back. “What would you change for next year?” I followed up. “Do it for 3 days! No, a week! How about two weeks?!!” they screamed. I think it’s safe to say that between being honest about hard topics, playing in the pool, doing collage crafts, watching a late night movie, and eating way too much food everybody had a good time. And even now, two weeks later, they can’t stop reminiscing with beaming smiles on their faces.

Just talking with them, you can see that they are more confident. Girls who wouldn’t talk during activities before the retreat are now smiling, answering questions, and participating. Two teens have begun coming more regularly to classes Back2Back staff give at a local community center on Wednesdays and Saturdays. And girls who previously had trouble making friends their age are excitedly asking about when they get to see their new friends from the retreat again. I have no doubt that God will use the seeds he planted in their hearts at this retreat to grow each one into a loving woman of God. Praise the Lord.